The Adventures of Mr Sue and Friends
by Written Tunes
Summary: In a world where Voldemort never existed, how on earth does the wizarding world end up with a Dark Lord called Mr. Sue? For that matter, how on earth does Remus end up as a Dark Lord called Mr. Sue?


_**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Harry Potter novels or anything taken from the novel or stuff like that..._

_**Summary: **In a world where Voldemort never existed, how on earth does the wizarding world end up with a Dark Lord called Mr. Sue? For that matter, how on earth does Remus end up as a Dark Lord called Mr. Sue?  
_

**...**

**The Beginning of their Adventures**

**...**

"Guys! I'm in love!"

Peter, Remus and Sirius stared at a grinning James that had just violently flung the door to their hideout open and then cheerfully proclaimed his love, his arms flung in the air in such a fashion that Peter had trouble holding back his laughter.

"I just know I don't want to know." Remus muttered, returning to his book in the hopes of avoiding the coming conversation.

Quickly glancing at the still-in-shock Sirius, Peter set up the verbally directed quills he had prepared for situations such as this, it was by getting these talks on paper that he had put together such a wide range of blackmail material. Of course, he didn't only use them as blackmail; they also made for great reading material when he was bored.

A grin was rapidly beginning to spread onto Sirius' face and he leapt off of the couch he had been lazing on to point at James dramatically.

"I knew it!" he proclaimed, sounding ridiculously smug as he did so, "I knew it!"

"Wait, what?" Peter stared at the two (still posing) in confusion, "I don't quite understand."

"Don't even try to, it'll drive you insane." Remus said without looking up from his charms text.

James lowered his arms also, the grin on his face replaced by a confused frown, "I don't think I understand either…"

Sirius gave James a sad smile before walking over to rest a comforting hand on James shoulder.

"It's okay, mate. I know it's hard to come to terms with your own feelings but I want you to know that no matter how you feel about me we will always be friends." Sirius reassured him and James' face twisted in horrified understanding.

"Merlin, no!" he yelped, leaping out of his friends grasp and attempting to cover his ears with his hands.

Sirius looked at his friend in bemusement, "Look James, I'm not a homophobe or anything and, if it's you, I probably wouldn't mind experimenting a bit."

Sirius winked and James screamed in terror, "Merlin, NO!"

On the sofa chair in the corner of the room Peter giggled, this was brilliant! His brows creased in thought, maybe he could sell this conversation to those fans of Sirius… the male ones would certainly be pleased to discover Sirius' stance on the other sex.

James glared at Sirius, "I'm in love with a girl!"

"Oh," Sirius frowned then gave an absentminded shrug, "Well then, why didn't you say so?"

"I was trying to!" he spat, "You interrupted me!"

Sirius grinned and scratched his nose somewhat embarrassedly, "Sorry, its just I'm so irresistible I thought… well, it wouldn't be the first time!"

Peter peered at James curiously, "What's she like?"

"Uhhh," James flushed and his eyes glazed over, "She's… uh, she's like a star, made up of fire and colour, so… so splendid it can't be touched and when, when she smiles the world ignites. Her eyes are stunning, they sparkle like… like jewels, magical jewels, she is just… so beautiful. When-"

"James," Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "Did you even talk to her?"

"Uh…" the flush on his face spread, "Yes?"

Sirius chuckled, "Yes, what?"

"I said hello." James began to glance around nervously.

"And she said…" Peter prompted.

"Fukofashol" he mumbled.

"What was that?" the evil grin on Sirius face stretched as he tried to make sense of James' mumble.

James sighed in resignation and lifted his head, "Fuck off, asshole."

Sirius burst into raucous laughter and Peter just stared at James in shock, no girl was ever rude to anyone in the group but him. James must have stuffed up big time.

"What happened?" Peter asked, still shocked and bemused.

"Well, it was love at first sight really; I'd walked past Hogsmede and was in Muddle's Square-"

"The shopping district for the mudbloods!" Peter exclaimed, "James! Headmaster Nott expressively forbid anyone going there! He even threatened expulsion!"

"Good one, James!" Sirius said and patted him on the back.

James gave a bland shrug, "I really don't see why, it's not dangerous or anything, just really run down and gross. Anyways, there I was when I heard the most melodious beautiful laughter-"

"Wait James…" Peter had a distinctly sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, "You met this girl in Muddle's Square?"

"Yep!"

"So, she's a mudblood?"

"Yep!"

Peter groaned and rubbed his forehead, "I can't deal with this."

Sirius grinned, "It's okay Peter, don't worry, he's not serious. All James has to do is shag her and then it'll be out of his system. Plus if she's a mudblood it just makes it that much easier, he could probably buy her if-"

Sirius stared down the end of James' wand in shock and into his friends furiously angry eyes.

"Don't you dare insult her." James growled, "I'm serious."

Sirius raised a disbelieving eyebrow, "You're Sirius? I thought I was."

James' grip on his wand tightened and he opened his mouth to curse Sirius but a hand grabbed his wrist, forcing it down to his side.

"Calm yourself James." Remus hissed, his grasp on James' wrist still tight, "Don't throw this friendship away on a whim."

James wrenched his arm away and snarled, "This is no whim, I really do love her!"

"Fine but don't fault us for not believing that immediately!", Remus replied just as angrily, "Now sit down and finish explaining, then maybe we can dissuade you from this foolishness!"

"Fine!" James stormed over to the sofa chair and seated himself with a thud.

Peter, meanwhile, sighed in relief at the temporary truce and motioned for a bewildered Sirius to sit on the sofa with Remus.

James waited for everyone to sit before he continued, "So… I was walking in Muddle's Square when I saw her laughing with her friends and I really wanted to meet her right, so I did the whole accidental bump trick Sirius taught me."

He paused and looked around at his friends, "It worked, I mean she fell without knowing I did it on purpose but… I kinda forgot that in Muddle's Square the ground is kinda… muddy. Sooo, when I reached down to help her up while she was covered in mud and said 'Sorry, pretty lady.' I think she thought I was teasing her."

Peter and Sirius had given up on restraining their laughter at that point and that, combined with the pitying look Remus was giving him, caused James to flush bright red.

"Yeah… then she slapped my hand away and, you know, told me to fuck off."

Peter, at this point, had finally managed to control his laughter so he smiled at James, "I still don't see how that encounter caused adoring love."

"Nor do I." remarked Remus, raising a wry eyebrow.

"Well," James' flush brightened, "I was curious so… I followed her a bit."

Sirius' laughter that had been slowly coming to a stop renewed with a fury.

"Our Jamesy here's a stalker." He wheezed.

"With masochistic tendencies." Peter giggled.

"Not true!" he yelled, "I was just curious."

Remus stared blankly at the wall in front of him, really, it was too sad to be funny. He was coming to realise why his father had warned him to be wary of the Potter's infamous attraction for bad luck, it had to be wearing off on him as well.

He sighed and cuffed Sirius over the back of his head, "Returning to the issue at hand, James you know you can't fall in love with a mudblood."

James pouted, "I don't care… its too late anyways, I'm already in love with her."

"But James," Sirius whined, "Mudbloods are inferior, that's a well known fact."

"I talked to my Great-Grandma's portrait and she said that's just a prejudice that took over due to pureblood supremacists with too much money and a weak government. She said that Mudbloods used to go to Hogwarts and were called Muggleborns back then, she says that they are equal to us in terms of intelligence and magic, sometimes even better." James retorted, a determined look on his face.

"Awesome! This could be the start of a mudblood revolution!" Sirius frowned, "But they're still inferior!"

Peter frowned, "Didn't you say you thought she was senile though?"

"That was before I realised the wisdom of her words." James said a little bit too quickly.

"Well," Remus sighed, "James' Great-Grandma is right… mudbloods did used to go to Hogwarts and the reasons behind the laws that began the separation of mudbloods from the rest of us seem to have next to no evidence backing them up but-"

"Ha! See!" James exclaimed.

"That's not to say it is wrong." Remus finished.

"Ha! See!" Sirius grinned, pointing a triumphant finger at James.

"More in-depth research is necessary." Remus muttered to himself, "A lot may need to be conducted by myself… especially seeing as if this was some sort of cover-up they'd most likely be thorough."

Peter shivered, an unholy gleam had entered Remus' eyes… it was the gleam of the curious Raveclaw that had been hidden within a Gryffindor ready to wreak havoc on the world, uncovering things that should remain unknown. It was a gleam that struck fear into the very core of Peter.

Merlin, what had they done?

* * *

Remus stared at the paper before him in shock, he had entertained the possibility that it was true just to satisfy James and his own curiosity but he'd never actually believed that… it **was** true.

Searching the library had been as much as a failure as he thought it would be and the book stores in Diagon and Knockturn Alley had been equally disappointing. However, in the end, the information necessary had been ridiculously easy to find. He'd just had to forge his father's (a high ranking government official's) signature to get what he wanted, which were all the research papers that hadn't been published in the last twenty years. The information had come pouring in, a lot of it unneeded and it had taken four days for him to hit the jackpot in the form of a paper written by a half-blood called Penelope Arctus. Her paper gave an in depth look on the magic levels of half-bloods and mudbloods compared to that of the purebloods, an brief look on squibs as a side note.

Mudbloods weren't weaker and they didn't weaken the bloodlines, if anything they strengthened them. He didn't know what to believe or what to do. Here was written, detailed proof that was so logical and clear that to deny it would be denying reality… but at the same time there was what he had grown up believing, what he wanted to believe, because if he didn't he would have to live with the knowledge that he lived in a corrupt society. A corrupt society that oppressed a good half of its inhabitants, one that was most likely so corrupt that the author's death five days after submitting her report hadn't been a coincidence.

He rested his head in his hands, he really didn't know what to do. A part of him was screaming out against the unfairness of it all but that risks involved were monumental. Not only for him but also for his family, his father could lose the position he had worked years for if Remus caused a ruckus about something this dangerous.

Sirius bounded up behind him, "Remmy, aren't you done with that stupid mudblood thing? It's been three weeks and we've nearly convinced James anyways."

Remus sighed, the choice was obvious, and it was the choice any good Gryffindor would make. He closed his eyes and slumped over the table, his head resting of the paper before him, the paper that had caused this ugly fight within him.

"Remmy? Aren't you going to come tease Snivellus with us?" Sirius' voice was concerned; it was rare to see his composed friend act so weary.

Remus sat up, his back straight and his expression one of determination.

"Tell the others to meet me in the Hideout. I've got news." He said and Sirius frowned, the grin he had worn now dead.

"Bad news?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded grimly, "As bad as bad can get."

"About that love thing?"

"Yep." Remus confirmed again.

Sirius looked at the seriousness on Remus' face and just knew that things were never going to be the same. He probably owed James money now too.

"Shit. This is going to suck so hard it'll cause a black hole."

* * *

**Author's Note:** _I wasn't sure if I should put this at the top but anyways... do you get it? Cos' Voldie didn't exist Fenrir didn't run free so Remus ain't a werewolf and the purebloods weren't condemned for their senseless slaughtering of muggleborns and stuff, so they slowly took over the wizarding world and now, Lily and other muggleborns go to a separate school. If you notice any plot holes or have any suggestions, please review and I will listen (most likely)._

_This story may or may not be like a series of onesots, I'm just going where the story takes me._


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